March 15, 2018

What a Life

I live in Germany. I have four kids, and they are perfect. I mean, at least two of them try to kick me in the balls on the reg, but like, besides that they are perfect. My wife is awesome. She works, so I have more money to hide my nonsense internet purchases. Shopping through Amazon blows, because there is a detailed record of the transaction, but if I subscribe to PornHub then that represents an intangible note on our bank statement (to be fair, I don’t use PornHub - if I am in the mood, I am all about #soapybutts ala 1990’s softcore).

My job is about supporting people that need legal help. If they need assistance, then I am here. I am like Matthew McConaughey from Lincoln Lawyer. I will help the best and the worst, whatever, I don’t care.

On this particular day (Mar 15, 2018), I got an acquittal in a rape case. That means that the jury came back and said Not Guilty.” In their heart, they were probably saying, what just happened, this guy is hella innocent why are we were?!” But of course, I can’t say that in open court, I can only allude to the hella innocent” part. At the end of the day, the system is imperfect, but it is the best damned system in the world.

I am lucky to work with great people. Smart people. Smarter than me, by a longshot. I wish I could compare, but I can’t - so what do I do? I fill in the gaps. If there is something that needs to be done, well dammit, I fill that role. One day I will be smart, but for now, I acknowledge my failures.

Hey. Hey! If you are still reading…good on ya, I stopped reading 10 minutes ago.

I am going to submit this mug because I haven’t submitted much in the last year. I have been busy with being lazy. Truth be told though, lazy is amazing, do you know how much content is on Netflix?!

Till next time internets.

March 26, 2017

Giving too many fucks

So I am reading a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (NY Times bestseller and Audible top audio book) and it is as freeing to me as the book that I read in Law School, The Slackers Guide to Law School.” Honestly, it is time to take things less seriously and focus on the things that matter. There are too many redundancy loops in my life that I need to shut down. For example, look at this loop:

1. feel like shit

2. go on Facebook and see everyone posting about how magical their life is

3. why aren’t they feeling like shit too?

4. hate myself for feeling like shit

5. rinse and repeat

See that nonsense? I am done with it and making changes. So far, it is about simple shit. For instance, I took the FB app icon off of my front screen on my phone. I don’t need that infinite-scroll crap happening in my life. What I need is to focus on what matters, not what the external world thinks of everything.

Pundits. Pundits everywhere.

What I need to do is focus on simple stuff. Eat right, finish that app I have been working on, and generally be a better father, husband, lawyer.

I am done giving too many fucks, and I am ready to focus.

March 24, 2017 you reyou re
March 24, 2017 Ron Swanson LunchableRon Swanson Lunchable
March 22, 2017

I’m a Connoisseur of Fine Memes

I have been digesting memes on a daily basis for a while now — like four years or so. I know they originated somewhere on 4chan and have evolved to be everything from the vehicle of the weird-twitter movement to the symbol of the Alt-Right movement. At the end of the day, they are fun and a great waste of time.

I had an issue where I wasn’t seeing the best memes, and I had to go to like 10 different sites. I wanted to change that. I wrote some code, dropped it on my home server, and have been collecting memes like it is my job. I take in everything, to include gifs, and push them out through an API (like I made a SUPER basic front-end site, and it is located at

The app has a few features:

  1. Login” with just a username

  2. The current meme a person is on depends on the username they are logged in with. Thus, if you login as bob” and close your browser while at meme number 6000, the same meme (number 6000) will be the first meme you see when you login later as bob”

  3. The memes go back in time, for example, if you start at meme 100, the next meme will be number 99

  4. You can hit get latest memes” and the most recent meme will be displayed

  5. The sites that are pulled from capture much of society, so if St. Paddy’s day is going on, there will probably be a bunch of memes around that time about St. Paddy’s day. Or, if President Trump tweeted something about Israel, there might be some memes about that. Who knows, society dictates and the app merely displays it

  6. If you right click and save the entire page, and open it later, it will still work. The page is standalone. You could literally email the webpage to someone and it would work (instead of just giving them the link)

Give it a go, see if you like it. If you do, then awesome — enjoy!

(here are some screenshots)

January 30, 2017 Streets are hard out thereStreets are hard out there